Jul 31, 2025
My latest track Deep Sadness was a song I wasnât sure I should release. Itâs about a breakup I never really got closure from⊠and the truth is, I wrote it while I was already married.

I know this story might stir up emotions for some, itâs definitely stirred something in myself! But Iâve chosen to share this very personal part of my journey because I believe deeply in the power of honesty and emotional healing.
To me, being authentic in every area of life (including in love and relationships) is sooo much more important than keeping things bottled up out of fear or discomfort. Sharing this song is part of my own healing process. It’s a chance for me to grow, to process old wounds, and to show that I can honor my past while still embracing my present.
I actually find the entire unfolding of this story quite beautiful, because Iâm finally in a relationship where I feel safe and secure enough to explore the full spectrum of my emotionsâincluding unresolved ones from the past â without feeling scared that I will be left alone or abandoned. Iâve realized I can’t just erase my history or pretend my former relationships didn’t matter. They shaped me. And even when those chapters end, sometimes the ache still lingers⊠My husband Greg gave me the security and trust I needed to feel all the feelings I have, knowing he would still be here by my side, no matter what. That is a beautiful thing. I know how lucky I am to have an understanding parter like him in my life and it really makes me feel like I can be open and vulnerable both in my personal life and my music career.

The unfolding
I wrote Deep Sadness during one of many solo trips to Sagecliffe Resort & Spa, nestled among the rust-colored canyons and desert wineries just outside Seattle. I used to perform there once a month, and it became my sanctuaryâa sacred space where I could be alone with my thoughts and really feel anything and everything I needed to. I’d spend my mornings hiking through rocky terrain under the hot, arid sun, and my early evenings before a gig, sitting still beside a quiet pond, watching the gophers skitter around and listen to the birds sing their dusky songs. There was something about the silence of that place that cracked me open. In that stillness, this song came that I finally felt safe enough to write.






While writing this track I learned that sometimes the grief of an unfinished goodbye lingers long after weâve moved on⊠Whether that be from a previous partner, a broken friendship, or a loved one whoâs passed away. Itâs never easy saying goodbye. I always say âloss is the hardest part of being humanâ. I really feel this in my heart, because I believe loss is what connects all of us.Â
The way that I process loss is (obviously lol) through music. Itâs cathartic. Iâd hate to have to bottle up all my feelings and never get to express whatâs in the depth of my heart, just because Iâd be worried about what others think. But itâs not an easy task!! Laying my heart bear, for the world to seeâŠ. That shit is TOUGH! Lol. Buuuuut itâs necessary, because healing comes through being vulnerable and honest. In doing these things (even when it’s hard), it can be one of the most powerful tools to grow both spiritually and emotionally; And growth is super important to me while I’m here on this spinning globe in the middle of a floating universe. So, writing this song in the early years of my marriage actually allowed me to flourish and become a better partner and wife. Iâd say itâs even made us closer as a couple.



Exploring and Performing at Sagecliffe 2021 – Images by Baiba Fancy
There’s something I do want to clarify: This song isn’t about longing to go back, but acknowledging the comfort of what another person once meant to me, and the feeling of not being ready to let go, just yet.
Writing this song gave me closure I never got at the time. It helped me sit with the truth: that it’s okay to feel both grief and happiness simultaneously. To be completely in love with your partner and the life you’ve built now, but still miss someone from the past. Iâm endlessly grateful to my husband, who has always given me the freedom to create from my whole selfâincluding the parts still healing. It’s so rare, and I still can’t believe I found someone who has given me that gift.
So yes, Deep Sadness is about heartbreak. But more than that, itâs about acceptance. About honoring my past without needing to rewrite it. And knowing that missing someone doesnât mean I am a bad person âit just means I’m human.
“Deep Sadness” — OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO
DEEP SADNESS LYRICS:
Itâs a long lost love
That Iâll never see
Itâs the last few words
That Iâll never speak
Cause I know
Weâre not meant to be
But it still hurts in the in between
Thereâs a deep sadness sadness
Underneath
Thereâs a deep sadness sadness
That you canât see
One day Iâll be ready
One day Iâll let go
But for now
Let me hold on a little more
You’re a mountain range
That Iâll never climb
Cause youâre too far away
And Iâm out of time
Itâs the last embrace
That weâd ever take
A part of me died
With our last goodbye
Chorus
Now Iâm on my own
As I drift to sleep
Thereâs nothing beautiful
In the silence next to me
Maybe itâs a lesson
Someday I will know
But for now
Let me hold on a little more
Just let me hold on a little more


You can stream the song everywhere or watch the music video now on YouTube. And I realllllly hope it speaks to you in a special way, like it does to me. An alternative is to buy it on bandcamp – where 100% of the proceeds support my work.
Thank you for reading, and thank you for being here in this humanly world alongside me.
Youâre simply the best.
With Love,
Jessica
PS. If you like this new song, please drop a comment below! I know it’s very different than my previous sound and I’d love to hear your throughts and if you’d like to hear more emotional songs like this one.
PPS. Exciting news! You’ll start to see new singles coming out every 4-6 weeks as apart of the new album “Canyon Moon” release. This is such an accomplished and polished piece of work and I am sooo proud of it. I am just beyond excited to start sharing all this new content that represents the new artist in me, in a more mature stage of life. Until the next one đ